I'm really glad it's the weekend. *Takes a deep breath* I spent most of the day on a boat for a tunicate/sea squirt study--great weather--but so much has happened during the week that I don't feel they way I usually do after being out in nature... I've learned so much about myself in the past three days that I need some time to review everything.... I have to admit that I feel pressured to grow up, in some cases to meet people's impression of me as a mature person and in other cases to challenge people's impression of me as a weak, little girl who doesn't know much. More importantly, however, it's because I know I can be better than who I was in the present, which is influenced by the past & I'm striving to be who I'd like to be in the future while being realistic.

I know I'll always be shy at heart, but I'd like to be able to speak up & participate in class without hesitating or getting nervous every time... I'd like to be able to use my voice when someone says something that I find hurtful/questionable or that they might find hurtful instead of swallowing what they say, pretending that everything's fine, or repressing my "voice" for so long that when it finally comes out the other person might not even remember what I'm talking about.

I'd like to be able to conquer my fear of bothering people. Asking my far-away friends to read either one of my online blogs or "journals" when I can't write everyone long, interesting emails all the time should not be a difficult task--it just takes one click on the hyperlink or to cut & paste the address to reach either one of my blogs to see what it's about & less than 5 min. to enter your email address into the "If you want to be updated on this weblog enter your email here" box or to "ask" your web browser to remember the web address. 

Now for something completely different, a movie I recently saw:

ABANDON with Katie Holmes & Benjamin Bratt, directed by Stephen Gaghan, Edward Zwick

Althought it's not as scary and as unpredictable as it seems, I really like the down-to-earth, as opposed to supernatural or psychopathic, aspect of this movie.

   My weekend was OK. I went to the movies with a good friend to see The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I thought it would be a fun movie to watch with (girl) friends, but I think it stressed her out instead. I still think it's a great movie though--I like the characters, the original plot & how it reminds me of where I grew up as part of the movie takes place in the Mediterranean, on the Greek island of Santorini. After the movie, my friend accompanied me to get stuff I should have got weeks ago (but didn't due to my disinterest in shopping) including antiallergic eyedrops and a folder to organize all the scientific papers I've been reading for my honours thesis on oysters.
   On Sun, I rearranged my room. I switched the dresser & the desk around so that the desk is facing the windows. (Putting a dresser next to the windows is a waste of valuable space in my opinion.) I did some reading on the porch in the afternoon (my favourite summer past-time) & now I have to go & get some more reading done.



Mood: Mellow
Music: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants soundtrack online

Last week, when I mentioned to a friend that I like watching crime shows like CSI, he remarked that he finds them silly because the cases always get solved. I should have called him up right after the bad ending of one of the shows I watched on the weekend. Usually, the climax is near the end of the show & there's closure. This episode ended with the innocent convicted brother committing suicide because all the evidence pointed at him as the murderer and not his messed up brother who walked away with a smirk on his face. The innocent brother somehow managed to slit his wrist when he was held at the police station. Blood squirted everywhere & he was losing so much blood that he looked like he was convulsing. Not a pretty scene, not even for someone like me who watches bullets taken out of a person's back without flinching (or at least that's what my other friend told me when we were watching movies the other day). I remember in 10th grade, someone did a poster with pictures of Iraqi kids with tumours or abnormal growths & I didn't realize how long I was standing there, inspecting the pictures like in a dissection or autopsy, until a classmate told me that I would make a good surgeon. Anyways, the point is, CSI isn't as silly as my friend thinks--something similar could happen or might have happened in real life, sadly enough.   

Even though I was never close to my grandmother (due to the generation, language & "geographic" gap), her death on Tues has left me contemplating... I remember the last time I saw her--she wished me all the best for my university studies... Coming from someone who wasn't given the chance to go to school, to learn how to read & write, not because her family couldn't afford it, but because she was a girl, I found it very touching... & motivating... I'm glad I got to see the other side of her that my mother's "monster-in-law" stories didn't show. Ironically, I have yet to see the other side of my own mother... until I gather the courage & the words to...

"Live as if there were no tomorrow."

*Laughs* So much for the break from LiveJournal... I can finally write a decent journal entry... What an interesting day--flurries in May. One of the masters students I work with hosted a scrumptious barbecue birthday lunch at his place--he & the other grad student we work with have the same birthday & the technician we work with also has a birthday around the same time. Tomorrow, I'll be celebrating another birthday. Well, his birthday was on Wed, but I couldn't celebrate with him because of work. However, I'm not complaining--I'm content & excited with my summer job/honours project which I'll be doing on the acoustic classification of oyster-growing seabed locations in Bras d'Or Lakes, Cape Breton, or Bedeque Bay, PEI, & the subsequent analysis of the eastern oyster (Crassostrea virginica) population at risk for MSX oyster disease or undetermined mortalities. (The "or" is just in case the Cape Breton project doesn't get approved.) (There are a few more scientific terms that I'm tempted to/feel like throwing in here, but it's probably unnecessary.)

I spend approx. 50% of the time at work helping them with the other shellfish/aquaculture projects & the other 50% of the time on my own project. I've been reading quite a few scientific papers. Then after work, I have a lot of poetry/English literature to read for my interesting Eng 202 summer class. *Carrots and sleep for the eyes* I find the "variety" (scientific papers & poetry) interesting & fun, for me at least. Here's an interesting similarity that I noticed today: in both cases, there are wordy sections that the writer could have expressed in much fewer words to save paper & ink. Every time I tell Andre, one of the masters students I work with, that I'm going to the library or some place else to do some background reading, he tells me not to fall asleep (which won't happen as I've been able to get a good night's sleep every night, yay). It just takes a little more mental energy to get through these sections. Well, I really must stop writing. I'll write more about Jake the dog & Chloe the cat later...